On to Proton!

Howdy Doody everyone. Sorry about my meltdown a couple of days ago. I took a long walk off the short 𝐾𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑀𝑦 𝑆ℎ𝑖𝑡 𝑇𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 pier. But I didn't drown in the 𝑆𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤 𝑆𝑒𝑎 and thanks to you all, I was put in a boat to safety! I'm back on dry land and back in check. What a week, though. Really. When I wasn't confused about our release, being told not to panic due to a worldwide pandemic, worrying about Zane's weight loss and health counts, I was mourning the unexpected loss of one of my most favourite people in this crazy world.

But, back to business. Zane is nearly through his radiation treatment. We are happy that the proton therapy is less dangerous to healthy tissue/organs, but he hasn't really rallied back in the nausea/energy department. He's dangerously close to getting a feeding tube and I'm close to holding him down and force feeding him. Don't get me wrong. He gets hungry. He wants to eat, but for him, it's like playing Russian Roulette with each bite, wondering which one will kick off the projectile vomiting. It sucks. But I am practically killing him with weight gain shakes and he understands what lurks ahead if he doesn't put some weight back on.

We ARE going home to Florida for a break (that's finally sorted). If Zane's counts stay and continue to climb, that will mean no transfusions so we will clear that hurdle. It will then just be down to his eating/weight issue.

Here were the fashion socks for Treatments 21 through 25 (adult language alert): Day 21: Nightmare Before Christmas socks Day 22: Take No Shit, Give No Fucks socks Day 23: Carpe the Fuck out of this Diem socks Day 24: Jack Skeleton socks Day 25: POW! socks

Anyway, things will improve and we will continue to #MakeZaneBetter Thanks again, everyone for lifting me up.The weight can feel crushing at times and you all help lift the burden. 🎈❤️